Friday, October 24, 2008

new friend

I arrived half an hour early for my driving class

And while waiting for my driving instructor, I found myself looking at him

He was looking at me, too

Obviously, he was kind of shy because when I caught him looking at me, he hung his head and started to wring his arms

… then there was blood all over his shirt

I rushed to him and held his head up

"Oh, honey, what's wrong? Where's your Mommy?"

"Driving," he said in that cute, nasal, and uber-ly sweet voice

"Are you ok? See, your nose is bleeding but it's going to be alright," trying to sound grown up while wiping blood from his nose

In truth, I was kind of scared that he was going to start crying… which will make me start crying too because, well, I'm weird and stupid like that

So, I was saying all these 'comforting' stuff like, 'see you're a strong boy… very brave! … you're doing fine… Mommy's going to be here soon…'

When I realized he was staring up at me

"What?" I asked.

"You're funny," he said.

Then I laughed.

And he laughed.

"You like Red Power Ranger?" he asked.

Then I noticed the little action figures in his hands – Spider-Man, two Red Power Rangers and one undecipherable (old, grayish) thing

Clearly, he favored Red Power Ranger

"No, I kind of like Blue Power Ranger," I answered, being impish

His eyes grew big and said, "But Red Power Ranger is The Leader!"

"Even so, he doesn't have the big motorcycle like Blue Power Ranger," I said, not knowing what I was talking about

"Blue Power Ranger has a big bike?" he asked, unbelieving

"Well, I'm not sure – but in the movie it was there. Plus I like Yellow Power Ranger more because she's a girl," I said, trying to veer away from the Blue Power Ranger topic

Then his eyes narrowed and he said… "Hmmm, how do you know so many things about Power Rangers?"

… then he tore and ate a part of the tissue that we used to wipe the blood from his nose

I was shocked to say the least

But before he could repeat what he just did, I grabbed the tissue and threw it away!

"What are you doing?" I asked, hysterical.

"Nothing."

"Are you hungry? I have biscuits here."

"No, I'm thirsty."

I got a cup of water from the dispenser and hurried back to where he was sitting, worried to find him eating tissue again

Thankfully, he was playing with Spider-Man

"Who do you think will win between Spider-Man and Red Power Ranger?" he asked.

"Spider-Man of course! If Spider-Man sees Red Power Ranger, he will kill him and he will die… and Spider-Man will look for the other Power Rangers and he will kill them all…" I said while making Spider-Man action figure kick Red Power Ranger's behind

He paused for a moment, thinking of a clever comeback.

And he bowled me over.

"No, I think when they see each other, they will become friends. Super heroes don't kill each other. They help each other."

Ah, so this is how it feels when a kid earns your respect.

"How old are you?" I asked.

"Six."

… then he started tearing the paper cup and taking small bites.

And 'respect' was thrown at my face.

"You're a weird kid," I said, not even trying to stop him.

"I like paper," he chuckled.

"So I see."

Just then his Mom showed up and called out, "Anthony, I'm here."

"I'll see you here again, right?"

"Yes, I hope so…"

Then he smiled.

And I waved goodbye.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

boba

yesterday, one very unfortunate Filipina (UF) called me for a job interview.

 

UF: uh, hello. (struggling to speak English) this is Lachelle?

Me: yes, this is she. How may I help you?

UF: come here tomorrow for interview.

Me: (taken aback) excuse me? Sorry, what company is this?

UF: we are (some real estate company) and you have to come here tomorrow for interview. My boss wants you.

Me: (couldn’t help but scoff) Jeez, I don’t know. You might want to give me more information on this. Like how you got my CV, for instance. Or who I will be meeting…

UF: (missing the sarcasm) you applied for this job, no? That’s why I have your CV.

Me: Sorry, I don’t recall…

UF: (cutting me) Ah, whatever, whatever… I have your resume and my boss wants you here tomorrow.

Me: (incredulous) Did you just say ‘whatever’???

UF: Yes. (again missing the sarcasm and continues!!) And you are going to meet Farah.

Me: (really pissed and confused by now) Huh? Who is Farah? (My mistake, I should’ve just cut the line)

UF: Why do you need to know who she is?

Me: Oh my goodness! You’re really that stupid, are you? How can you ask me such question? What is your name? I’m going to report you! What company is this again?

UF: How many times do I have to tell you, we are (some real estate company). And you’re Filipina right? Filipina ka diba? Kase ganito yun…

Me: OH MY GOD!!! Please stop. Please stop. Don’t you dare speak in Tagalog to cover your incompetence!!!

UF: Teka lang…

Me: You know what – this is enough. This is the most stupid job offer I’ve ever received!!! Thanks, but no thanks!

UF: I’m going to tell my boss about you…

Me: Go ahead, bitch. Boba!

 

GGRRRRRRRR!!!! %#$%^&*()_(*&^%%$$$$$@###!!!!